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It's the Simple Things
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Natural Rhythms 

Women's Natural Rhythms and the Power of The 5 NIYAMAS of YOGA

4/5/2022

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THIS MONTH WE ARE Tapping into Tapas
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Currently taking a lot of HALE PULE on-line courses. Would highly recommend for all things Ayurveda & Yoga, in terms of learning the principles and so much more! There is a lot of information out there and it can become confusing.

LEARN MORE ABOUT HALE PULE
" Myra from HALE PULE WRITES:
"The word discipline might not sound like a lot of fun, but if you think of it as a  daily commitment to honor your desire to live a fulfilling life 
then you can see how discipline could become your greatest ally.”

 
“Look at why you want to do it - what is it that’s motivating you? As you answer your question, practice satya - self-honesty. Then look again at how you’re going about making the change. If you find that you’re not following through like you said you would, then make an adjustment and see what happens”
 
Show up for yourself each day. That's tapas.
Like all of the Yamas and Niyamas, tapas is a practice for daily life - on and off the mat. If you’re practicing Ayurveda, tapas is definitely helpful for making changes to your diet and lifestyle so that you can feel better in your body and have a greater sense of connection to your spirit.”
 
Excepts I found on-line via research to go deeper 

Tapas is a Sanskrit word that means “to heat.” Tapas is at the core of the Niyamas, which are the five principles of self-observance and internal disciplines outlined in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.
 
We can think of Tapas as the internal, motivating heat that sparks initiative and progression within us. It is the deep, inner drive that forces us to get up in the morning, and that brings us to the yoga mat every day. More than this, Tapas is the basis of all things in existence and is reflected through the most important aspects of Yoga including abhyasa (steady practice), svadhyaya (self-reflection), and the three internal, meditative limbs of Ashtanga Yoga (dhyana, dharana, and Samadhi).
 
Tapas is not to be confused with pitta-driven self-restraint and severe discipline. Tapas is the continual progression of movement towards awareness. It is the ability to remain consistent in development, despite discomforts or “growing pains” that may arise.
Tapas is vital because it acts as the continuous driving force that allows for the bearing of fruits. It pushes you through discomfort, lethargy, apathy, and doubt, allowing you to reduce the vrittis (mind fluctuations) and develop refined Soma – the internal nectar and vitality (similar to Ojas) that brings pleasure and good feelings to your body and consciousness. Like Ojas, Soma corresponds to Kapha dosha, and has the elemental dispositions of water and earth. When considering the Gunas, Soma also has an oily quality about it.

FROM A LOVE AFFAIR WITH THY SELF PERSPECTIVE: THESE PRINCIPLES ARE PERFECT AND WE LOVE: 
 
Svadhyaya or self-study 
 
The word itself is made up of Sva, meaning own, self, or the human soul, and Adhyaya, meaning lesson, lecture, or reading, and can imply the practice of studying scriptures, as well as a practice of studying the Self.  
 
Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra says:
 
 “Study thy self, discover the divine”

 

Find out more about New Zealand's MALE PULE and stay tuned as we continue to dig deeper and learn as we go and how to apply that to our Love Affair with Thy Selves and Our Natural Rhythms 
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Peri-menopause, Sleep enhancers & Foam Tops for our beds

10/27/2021

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It's pretty cool to witness so many younger women opting for cycle eating to accommodate their natural rhythms. Although that wisdom has been around a very long time, these things get lost sometimes. Lately though, I've been witnessing couple's enjoying cooking together and I've even seen husbands creating amazing meals for their wives in alignment with her best medicine cycle wise in mind. It's really cool because this also offers men who enjoy feeding women in that way (the actual food part) the opportunity to learn a lot about how to put it all together to make masterpiece meals that taste amazing too! I LOVE WITNESSING THAT!!!!! because what comes with that is: Happier people!!!! I mean if you are going to live and breath with one another and you're going to eat anyway, why not make it work at all the levels for wellness. Additionally witnessing a man human honoring his own wife, partner and her unique needs-that's a pretty big turn on!

Anyway, that's not my reality at this time but it still makes me happy. Over here in Honolulu I'm in a different stage of life where the four phases aren't what they used to be. The clock work and being able to count on the four phases eventually turns into something very different. Sleep becomes this game I am playing and right now, I'm digging.......

Dark Chocolate Turmeric Night Cap! 

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I wanted to try this flaxmilk and it's my first try with it. Typically I do like the organic whole milk while also trying different milks at different times. I find though, the organic whole milk taste the best and it also makes me feel the best. The other night time remedy is sometimes honeycomb. Still in the "comb" the honey is incredible and I just chew on the comb until it has no flavor then it goes in the trashcan but that is also a very good sleep remedy for me. It depends on the day though. 

The Chocolate Turmeric Night Cap:
Any milk, Dark chocolate, Turmeric, black pepper and due to my desire to be cool vs hot throughout the night, I use cardamom instead of cinnamon because one is cooling and the other is heating. I prefer the cooling element and also, I love the flavor as well. 
The black pepper helps activate the power of the turmeric.
It's like the best drug on the market. Sip slowly, savoring, allowing.......ah....so wonderful

AND HERE IS THE NEW DISCOVERY/DEVELOPMENT IN MY LIFE!!! 

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Someone had purchased one of these cooling gel foam bed tops for their company but didn't ever use it simply because they didn't like the look or something to that effect. Therefore I was asked if I would be interested, I thought it was a generous gift and I would like to try it. What is the worst that could happen? I don't really know all that much about these things. I like my bed and it sure is comfortable however, I woke up the first morning after placing this thing on my bed and two amazing things had happened. The first thing was, I slept two hours longer. That's a win. The second thing that happened is I noticed how cool my body felt. Right away I had to thank this person again and share the benefits I was already noticing as my unexpected deeper gratitude rose higher and higher. I'm like wow! This was incredible luck! I've been sleeping like that ever since, longer and cooler.

So I just wanted to mention this in case there is anyone else out there who may have the desire for these things but it has to be a certain kind of foam bed top because in my research I learned a lot of them can make you hot. Which, I suppose if you are in a cold weather winter climate, that might be a good thing. You never know what will make people happy!

Okay, take care and

​Stay tuned!

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Justice & Self-Care, Advocacy & Wellness Workshop Honolulu & Weekly Sign-Holding

10/26/2021

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Our certainty regarding "Abortion is healthcare," continues here in Honolulu and together as a community we have co-created a few opportunities......readers can click any golden link to learn more...

​Here we go......

Our incredible friends at Refuse Fascism Honolulu will be hosting a Sign-Holding Every Wednesday in November yet also: Starting October 27th, 2021

Stand Up for Abortion Rights!
Wednesdays, Oct 27, Nov 3, 10, 17, 24
Thomas Square, corner of King/Ward
4-5:15pm

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Refuse Fascism
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Our Justice & Self-Care, Advocacy & Wellness Workshop in Honolulu has been co-created by: Women's March Honolulu, Project Koa Yoga & Love Affair with Thyself
DATE: Saturday, November 20, 2021
TIME: 9 am -10 am 

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Justice & Self Care, Advocacy & Wellness Workshop EVITE LINK

FLYERS ANYONE CAN USE FOR COLLEGE DORMS AND OTHER COMMUNITIES WHERE THERE IS AN EVENT BOARD. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THESE. 

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Abortion Healthcare-Facts and Stories too

Community in Action, October 2, 2021 Woman's March in Honolulu
WOMAN'S MARCH HONOLULU INFORMATION AND SIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTER

WE HOPE YOU WILL JOIN US IN RISING UP AND LIFTING ONE ANOTHER UP WHILE WE ALSO STAY CENTERED< GROUNDED AND INSIDE WELLNESS! 

BELOW ARE A FEW THINGS FOR YOU "IN THE MEANTIME" 

THE ACTIVISTS GUIDE TO SELF CARE BY IMPACT GLOBAL 

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IMPACT GLOBAL

Sharing some of my favorite Expanded Conversations happening on TED TALK-A lot of thought provoking, heart grabbing, story, deeper knowing and reality based story telling happening below, moving the conversation to a different more reverent place.... 
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A discussion on changing the reproductive rights conversation. As the current debate and discourse remain highly polarized, moving beyond the extremes and recognizing and respect the realm of the "technicolor" decisions that women make is encouraged. Jessica Waters is the Associate Dean for Undergraduate Education in American University’s School of Public Affairs and is also a faculty member in the Department of Justice, Law and Criminology and an adjunct faculty member at the Washington College of Law. Her research focuses primarily on reproductive rights law.

After interviewing hundreds of strangers about their unplanned pregnancies, Josiah believes the conversation surrounding abortion and unplanned pregnancy in America is fueling disconnection. In a thoughtful talk guided by real stories, Josiah explores what we can do to build a culture of vulnerability that overcomes isolation and shame with real human connection. Josiah Friedman is the 25-year-old founder and CEO of Voices for the Voiceless, the nonprofit cultural movement creating a world where no one faces unplanned pregnancy alone

Abortion is extremely common. In America, for example, one in three women will have an abortion in their lifetime, yet the strong emotions sparked by the topic -- and the highly politicized rhetoric around it -- leave little room for thoughtful, open debate. In this personal, thoughtful talk, Aspen Baker makes the case for being neither “pro-life” nor “pro-choice” but rather "pro-voice" -- and for the roles that listening and storytelling can play when it comes to discussing difficult topics.

Asha Dahya, Journalist and women’s rights activist; founder/editor of GirlTalkHQ.com, presents: “Reframing Reproductive Rights: Going Beyond Pro-Choice vs Pro Life” Asha shares her big idea surrounding what it would it look like if we took the most divisive topic in America and changed the narrative beyond pro-choice and pro-life?
Stay Tuned! 
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Dental Wellness, Digestion & Peri-Menopause

10/22/2021

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Quick Orientation 


Hi I'm Christina, 
​
This is my blog where I share a variety of things as I move into year eight of my own heading toward Menopause journey. What that means is: I've been in peri-menopause for almost eight years now.

I mention this because I believe it's important for women to understand their own inner body as it relates to the subtle shifts taken place, often over a significant length of time- as we head toward menopause: is not only possible-but it's also subjective to each woman's life.  I believe this level of awareness is super important on a lot of levels.  Every woman's journey in this stage of life is going to happen inside of her in different ways. Therefore, it's a wonderful time for women to be even better listeners inside their own bodies and also, inside their chosen sisterhood circles.  We are not all the same and it's just been an incredible witnessing to see so many younger women take on and honor their four phases of their cycle while their cycle is monthly and carries a lot of self information. That will be most helpful and good practice for when this stage of life happens. 

For me personally, I am excited about menopause because menopause equals freedom for me. As a woman who was diagnosed with PMDD in the early 90's shortly after my second biological son was born and died from a rare chromosome disorder, it was a very intense and a confusing time. All these years later as I continue to move through this normal stage of a woman's most natural life, I'm thrilled to see so much awareness happening for women-GLOBALLY! You can read more about that by clicking the WHAT IS PMDD, link below.... 
I haven't had any PMDD symptoms in a while. 
What I can say about PMDD in retrospect though is
never ever underestimate the absolute power of things like: when you are loved well, heard the first time and your boundaries are respected in terms of being able to quickly assess, get the help that a woman needs and or take on holistic practices that make a world of difference within the 5 interwoven puzzle that is PMDD. 


“We can’t talk about our own health without understanding
our place in our environment, because in order to fulfill our
potential we have to live in the context of our surroundings.
We have to know our place in the ecosystem of which we
are a part, and this means living 'consciously': being aware
of nature and how it affects us and how we, in turn, affect
nature.”
― Sebastian Pole, Discovering the True You with
Ayurveda: How to Nourish, Rejuvenate, and
Transform Your Life


What is PMDD?

Quick Preface

Before I share my Dental Wellness-I want to be sure to articulate, self-care for my particular peri-menopause includes, transcendental meditation, self massage with warm oil, acupuncture and a few other things. Currently my newest thing seems to be cleaning my feet in a ritual sort of way. First I use a golf ball under my feet and that does wonders! 

A few months ago, it was all about the rice water ritual for my hair because that wonky itching no longer exists. Itchiness- is an oddly common development for women moving through Peri-menopause. Yet, I've noticed through these past almost eight years within my own peri-menopausal experience, when I experience some odd new thing, the more I love up on that and find ways to nourish that...the more ease, peace and joy I experience.  This allows me to love out in ways that fulfill me. The sense that my life has meaning based on the meaning I give it, totally helps inspire me to keep coming back to the intimate connection within my own body mind. 

DENTAL WELLNESS


My dental health has been highlighted as one of the many holistic wellness prevention action steps. 

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We created an action plan together to see what needs to be done now to enhance the quality of my existence. I've had a few appointments and digestion does begin in our mouth. I've noticed, after the semi-rough parts like having my gums scraped for the first time in my life felt amazing after and it does seem like my digestive health is a lot more steady too. Again though, there is a lot of self-care that I do and after this gum treatment, same as after acupuncture. I ride those health care waves beyond those appointments/experiences. 

This Ayurveda Kapha Balancing simplistic under 15 minutes sequence totally helped me with my new allergic reaction to being "numbed" by the dentist. My whole life visiting the dentist office, I've never had any allergic reactions to that before. (This is what I mean by -things change) In addition to the twitching reaction that doesn't last all that long, I now experience some weird and twisty lower level slight depression of some sort. It's so minor though. Being aware that this substance is the cause helps a lot. It was as simple as understanding time and intentional action helps move things along. Now that hormones have changed....
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It feels good, to take care of what needs to be taken care of.  It's like anything else really. You know when you are a couple and then you have children and life changes because room needs to be made to be "more." and some of it you might feel a little sad that life is a little "more," in ways you weren't expecting while also feeling blessed? Moving beyond couple-hood to the expansion of parenthood changes you and sometimes people resist that especially if they don't take the time to re-create or re-evaluate to add it all into the mix and make it all work? I think a lot of life and especially life phases within our female physiology is like that. Every stage teaches you something different about yourself but if you resist the changes, stay stuck inside what once was.....because it was a lot easier -we can totally miss so many opportunities to enjoy our now as it is. Now, If I can only have this same mindset as it relates to cleaning out my closet which is a hot mess! I hope to get to that but right now, for me my best medicine and self care happiness is what it often is: My digestion is so happy! 

Stay tuned!


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Natural Rhythms-Peri-Menopausal things

10/17/2021

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Currently loving the immediate and soft results of my past two acupuncture treatments!
Below is a chart for anyone to discover the benefits for themselves. 

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Soft-Ongoing-Steady Stream of Goodness

Last weekend I was on the phone with my mom sharing what I did self-care wise on my Friday night and all she could do was laugh while her head was spinning. Mostly as it relates to the length I will go to feel good inside my own body mind in this transformative life phase I'm currently in.


While also experimenting with various wellness things. I like Traditional Chinese medicine and I also like Ayurveda too.

It's kind of wild how they over lap in some places while being different in others.  The meridian system is something we studied broadly in Massage Therapy School, therefore, I've got a foundation with that and Ayurveda I've been learning and studying that for about seven years now, starting with my friends inviting me to meet some very cool people who were also highly skilled at Marma Point Therapy. Additionally I do have experience as an intern for Colon Hydrotherapy, therefore, when it comes to the digestive system (my own in particular) I am very comfortable with creating a warm, clean and safe "Basti" space a weekend after the Acupuncture treatment did some good things! It's always best to work with an Ayurveda Wellness Doctor or specialist and of course, everyone can do their own research to make the best choices for their own life.

​For me, a few "Basti," treatments on occasion sets me into this amazing place. Anyway I found this soothing music and through the privacy of my own experience I found this music did provide the soothing relaxing nourishment that made the experience slow, easy and enjoyable.  I don't think anyone would have to do a basti to have this intentional soothing the colon music help them ease up. 
3 HOURS Music To Help Improve Colon Cleansing - YouTube
Once cleansed and feeling light and happy, I decided to do the Yani Steam.  I do have the herbs however, I find I don't really need to add anything because the sensation of the hot steam with quality water does the trick. For me I'm not looking to clean something that is self cleaning as much as I'm looking to bring energy and softness into an area of my own body that I love a lot. 
As soon as the steam reaches me, I experience this softness, this lovely return to my center and some kind of wonderful melting while something good happens to my brain too. Sometimes, something I wasn't even focused on floats into my brain and the solution is right there, all of a sudden. 
What I've come to understand by this self loving practice as a woman in this stage is-it also helps me sleep. 
Music for Healing female energy

This past Friday in Acupuncture, it was the first time the needles were placed around my belly button. That is my first ever experience with that placement of the needles. My request was that we stay with my digestive system and they sure do listen to you when you know what you need. Anyway, a few hours later, I got my Menstrual Period and that is always such a surprise now. That means, at least one more year before I'm officially a woman in menopause but that also meant for me, a weekend in what is known to me as my "moon lodge." 
I'm happy about it because it's also a very healthy flow happening right now. I've been sipping warm water and tea, I made yummy soup, took several easy strolls, sat in the park and wrote in three different areas of interest to me.

In my moon lodge (laying low and staying home) while respecting the acupuncture treatment equals taking it easy to allow these things to work on their own is where I am at right now. 
Taking it easy is so wonderful @

There are a few more things. but I think this is plenty of sharing and it's time for a good nights sleep now

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Stay Tuned
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Natural Rhythms through life as life moves: 52 Concise Things

10/4/2021

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Finished my 52 concise beliefs I carry now in my fifty-second year of existence.

It's also pretty cool to be able to connect to what I wrote in 2015 when I was coming out of a very different life stage!

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  1. Beauty doesn’t fade, it expands. 
  2. Nature is soft and it’s also fierce. 
  3. Love isn’t always patient or kind, similar to nature -fierceness is sometimes necessary. 
  4. Feminism is moving into a new wave and it’s best to learn about the waves and recognize what’s possible. 
  5. Misogyny is not sexy in men or women. 
  6. Rest in Love feels better to my heart and soul than Rest In Peace. 
  7. Aloneness is different than loneliness
  8. No is a complete sentence 
  9. Rejection and betrayal are a part of everyone’s life 
  10. The willingness to co-create feels better. 
  11. Sisterhood is life saving. 
  12. 100% accountability is enough. 
  13. Living at the level of the mind only is a dreadful way to live. 
  14. A yes at the level of the body, mind and the heart is the best yes and can be trusted. 
  15. Compassionate people have boundaries 
  16. Gossip ruins lives, destroys families and it is a waste of everyone’s time. Yet, support systems generate the desire to thrive. 
  17. Everyone is judgmental. Especially the enlightened folks. 
  18. Some things are right and some things are wrong and it’s okay to say so. 
  19. Facts are accumulated by effort but truth reveals itself in reverent time and both are necessary. 
  20. Women who were born women have a cycle and no one needs to stomp on that or us to get their place in the world. 
  21. The more I care about my own brain health, the more I heal what is exclusively mine to heal the better my brain works. 
  22. People can and will hurt you without your consent. 
  23. Depth isn’t heavy to a mermaid as long as she keeps her land legs aka understands what keeps her grounded. She needs an anchor too.
  24. Women bleed and yes you can trust something that bleeds every month and does not die-again misogyny is not sexy. 
  25. Connection is a gift. 
  26. A child’s love and trust requires my integrity, awareness - who I am and how I show up matters 
  27. Love is willing & that includes the willingness to say no when you are a no.
  28. I will hold your hand and I will hold your baby. 
  29. Communication is an Art to me and experiencing it that way enriches my existence. 
  30. Hydration and a good nights sleep is often my cure. 
  31. The smaller my inner most important circle/ connections I have the more consistency and stability I can provide them with. (Especially at this stage of my life game) 
  32. I am a bubbling stream and I’m also a deep flowing river. The older I get the less willing I am to pretend otherwise 
  33. I can sense life enriching connections within the first two hours but only in shared space because I need all of my senses to be activated. I’ve noticed other people have that gift too and I’m always glad when that happens. 
  34. Ride & thrive is way more exciting than ride or die. 
  35. Bless and block when needed 
  36. Sensing is different than feeling.  
  37. My home is my sanctuary. 
  38. Playfulness is a superpower 
  39. The full moon makes me feel happy and free, thanks to my grandmother 
  40. I belong to my grandchildren, even though they do not exist. 
  41. I’m often listening with the intent to be a trustworthy witness. 
  42. Dancing hula feels like love & being in love all over my entire body, mind and my heart. 
  43. Joyful is different than happiness and I’m more inclined to go for the joy. 
  44. Sometimes it’s important to take the time to expand our gratitude containers so we don’t mess things up for ourselves.
  45. More can be achieved when people take time to rest and nourish themselves.​
  46. Trust is more important to me than love in interpersonal connections.
  47. Restoring trust as quickly as possible helps love flourish. 
  48. Taking a stand for something smaller and bigger than myself fulfills me.
  49. ​"Do your own research," as a way  to "do no harm" lands differently.
  50. Wisdom requires self-reflection and it's subjective
  51. Enriching the quality of one another's existence is the goal. 
  52. Nourishment, Nourishment-NOURISHMENT!!!!
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Wildly, this morning before I finished 2021's list and was able to connect it to 2015- I opened the book: Women Who Run with The Wolves, I opened to this exact excerpt:
"Consistency in manner is an impossible sentence for a wild woman, for her strength is her adaptation to change, her innovation, her dancing, her howling, her growling, her deep instinctual life, her creative fire. She does not show consistency through uniformity, But rather through her creative life, through her consistent perceptions, quick sighted-ness, flexibility and deftness.

If we were to name only one thing that makes the wild woman what she is, it would be her responsiveness.

The word response comes from the Latin: “to pledge, to promise,” and that is her strong suit.

Her perceptive and deft responses are a consistent promise and pledge to the creative forces, be it Duende, the goblin-spirit behind passion, or beauty, Art or the Dance, of Life.

Her promise to us, if we will not thwart it, is that she will cause us to live. She will cause us to live fully alive, responsively and consistently so."


I love a lot about: 

Her deep instinctual life (my own) 

I think what I like the most about this excerpt from the book being placed in the space between my 2021 and 2015 beliefs is -it seems to blend in most naturally with the theme of a woman's most natural responsiveness and adaptation as life continues to move. Life was very different in 2015 than it is now. Yet I can also see my own personal integrity has been playing out through the Pandemic from my 2015 list. 

Dig this: 

2015 LIST/WORLD VIEW/BELIEFS 
I believe in telling our children how special they are with the appendage that everyone else is special too.

I believe respecting our elders is critical and I wish more parents taught that to their children.

I believe entitled children become unhappy adults whereas, empowered children become happy adults.

I believe teenage years and mid-life is essentially the same thing.

I believe Betrayal is a part of the human experience. We may not know when or who yet it seems to me the point is to grow and learn through it. No matter which side of the betrayal you are on.

I believe when you create healthier boundaries, people may rebel, dislike you, or move away from you. I believe in creating them anyway.

I believe in not coaching someone who didn't request coaching. I believe in not claiming a person is un-coachable if you don’t have their consent.

I believe the questions: "What do you want," or "what do you need," or "how can I be of service to you?" Is way more effective than unsolicited advice.

I believe you could be with someone every day and still not be there every day.

I believe you can know someone for 20 years and never truly know them and You can meet someone for 20 days and have a deep knowing.

I believe every day is a new opportunity to get to know someone all over again.

I believe there are many ways to heal. and it’s all about what resonates.

I believe in choosing joy whenever possible.

I believe laughter really IS the best medicine

I believe I usually want to talk about it, because I usually want to be free from it.
Cause you know...
“I have no desire to suffer twice, in reality and then in retrospect.”

Sophocles, Oedipus Rex

I believe affinity, Communication and a shared reality are the 3 places to look at in any relationship-when you see what's missing, you have the power to add it back in.
This was such a cool game to play!!!!!!!

​Stay tuned
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Women's March Honolulu, Hawaii October 2, 2021

10/3/2021

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COMMUNITY IN ACTION 

Hi, I'm Christina.

​I live in Honolulu and when I heard the news about Texas I felt both triggered as a woman as well as ACTIVATED. Therefore I went on a hunt to find the Woman's March, here where I live. My intent was to honor the women who already spent their time creating something. However, due to COVID and whatever else the case may be, there wasn't anything for me to join. Woman's March asked me if I would like to be a "Host,"
I said yes.
In my heart I suspected there had to be other people on island who felt similar things as me, however, I have been in my own little Pandemic bubble due to the community I'm a part of and also, I am an introvert (Not that social) anyway. If a few people came, that would be great! However, very quickly an incredible woman reached out to me with a rigorous level of emotional honesty, communication skills that were top notch and a deep knowing as a local woman.

From there, another woman reached out to me, new to the area yet deeply committed with a lot of skill sets and a wide range of expertise in many of the areas required to organize events.

I'd also like to mention we were three women in three different phases of our lives. 

Three different generations of women all showing up. This all happened very quickly. The knowledge, dedication, consciousness, wisdom, kindness, fierceness, consideration, even our unique differences all seemed to be workable as we danced the best we could in the short amount of time that we had to get it together. Without either of these women...we wouldn't have had the turn out that we had. Although our in the moment estimation was 300 people, we ended up with closer to 400 people.  

For this post I'm going to share some of the images, signs and community LOVE being played out from my own camera/experience/connecting with others. Even for just a second... 

​But first, 


Here are some images from our community! 
This first round of images Credit goes to @sammymcmanuphotography 

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UNAPOLOGETIC  CONFIDENCE 

This is the first image I took! I love her sign, her posture! How everything about this image let's you know....her confidence and clarity that, it is indeed HER body and that is all! So good!
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MOTHERS AND THEIR PRECIOUS LITTLE ONES 

These mothers and these children gave me all the warm and fuzzy's from a conscious parenting perspective. Besides, they are so darn cute!!! 

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FAMILY LOVING AND CHERISHING MOTHER 

In speaking with this family, they took the option to stand still and hold their signs for the mother who wasn't able to March but her presence had so much value and the love her family has for her could be felt. 
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SISTERHOOD CONSCIOUSNESS 

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I LOVE THESE YA YA SISTERHOOD TYPE SIGNS!! SO very much! 


MEN WHO GENUINELY LOVE WOMEN 

When I asked this gentleman if I could take his picture and his why, he responded "Because women make up three quarters of the sky" 

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PROTECT WOMEN 

This sign is one of my all time favorites because it's the essence for me personally. While I do understand the compassion and the inner conflict for the unborn, I don't, not on any level -understand the disappearing and not caring, not seeing THIS! It's a lot easier to be and remain disconnected without this most basic truth being seen. 

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PROTECT BLACK WOMEN 

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Through these past several weeks, I have witnessed many black women share their thoughts, feelings and their clear no, we are not walking and their sharing "White women, this is your fault, therefore this is your fight, don't ask me for anything."  I liked the idea of listening and honoring that. Therefore, when I saw this on one of the tables I thought, this is really great. We are kind of a melting pot here with different experiences. What I noticed was people were happy to take this and that was all people. Men, women, all races. Some people mentioned they were worried when they saw so many people, until they read the actual sign and paid a little closer attention. Then there was an "oh, this feels really good. This feels right" I heard that several times by those who had no intention of appearing at a Woman's March. So I thought I would mention that as it's part of the experience.  People could feel we  were not doing any harm to anyone. That was really cool to hear 


BE BOLD. BE DARING 

LOVE the boldness combined with their cleverness! 

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IN IT TOGETHER

If it was Families, friends, co-workers or loving couples. The togetherness is important for many men and women to see and witness. There is an illusion out there that isn't based on reality but on other things that prevents women from standing up for themselves and a lot of women know the truth of it. To stand up often means, forgo love because some men (and some religions) need women to give up some part of their own truth "if they ever want a man to love them." 

It is one of the most insidious lies both men and women are told but a man who embodies kindness towards women, I've noticed...are happier, more fun and also, you can feel they are experiencing joy and fulfillment and that can and does co-exist with all the other things women crave. I personally think both men and women need to know what's possible.....

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STANDING UP FOR ABORTION RIGHTS STARTING LINE

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INVEST IN COMMUNITY NOT MISOGYNY 

This one is my other favorite of all time..... so concise and on point! 
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Stay tuned because....
There was a lot to this and there is more to do.....and it's time for bed now 

​

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ABORTION HEALTHCARE -FACTS AND STORIES TOO

10/1/2021

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MILCK - Women's March 2018

ABORTION HEALTHCARE 

Taking the summer off from blogging was a good decision for my wellness. I did intend to begin again sharing amazing tips and tricks I am learning through my own commitment to moving through Peri-Menopause naturally, however I can always come back to that! Time is a very precious thing right now for those of us who genuinely LOVE WOMEN! 
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Abortion is health care and the only way to not see that- as truth - is to be uneducated on several levels. Not just medically speaking. On many levels and for sure on the level of expanded consciousness. 



FACTS 



Facts are Important: Abortion is Healthcare: 

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), with over 57,000 members, maintains the highest standards of clinical practice and continuing education for the nation’s women’s health physicians. Abortion care is included in medical training, clinical practice, and continuing medical education.

ACOG’s Guidelines for Women’s Health Care, A Resource Manual, 4th Edition, encompassing the full spectrum of clinical and management issues relating to women’s health care, lists abortion among the array of services that make up Gynecologic Care

https://www.acog.org/advocacy/facts-are-important/abortion-is-healthcare


 


NOT CARRYING OTHER PEOPLE'S SHAME INSIDE OUR BODIES
WOMEN'S HEALTH 101 


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EXPANDED CONSCIOUSNESS 

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WHEN OTHER PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS PROJECTED SHAME IS LIFTED FROM A WOMAN'S BODY -ANGER IS A VERY NATURAL< HEALTHY RESPONSE! SOMETHING MADAM CLARE SPEAKS INTO SO VIVIDLY......



“I’m so angry with myself for not speaking about it and feeling ashamed of something that really there’s no shame in”

~Clare



BBC Radio 4 - Woman's Hour - Abortion Stories: Five women share their experiences

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/3kqkh6td2w65XWWg00MYf1t/abortion-stories-five-women-share-their-experiences

Every woman, if she is a yes or a no to abortion healthcare, it is important to lean into the reality of her own existence. A woman’s healthcare/family planning decision needs to be led by her reality and not by anyone else. 

"I consulted no one but my conscience"

When she was 28 and living in New York City in the early 1990s, Diana terminated her pregnancy.
"I was in a rocky relationship with my boyfriend, and I’d been thinking about ending it. I’d also had all these weird symptoms of being exhausted and peeing every five minutes, and when I mentioned that to a girlfriend, she said, 'Uh-oh!
It sounds like you’re pregnant.'

7 Women Share Their Abortion Stories in the Wake of #YouKnowMe | Health.com
​
"….the body can discern, to the finest degree, the difference between that which is supportive of life and that which is not.
David R. Hawkins, Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior


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FROM THE COLLECTIVE TO THE PERSONAL.... 



Anyone can read my quick “Be Self Loving” Bio here to understand the impact of where my own personal Child loss-Abortion Healthcare-Family Planning story begins: For me, 

https://www.loveaffairwiththyself.com/about-christina-marie.html

Anyone can also read our families creative story in the book Stories of Courageous Vulnerability here

https://issuu.com/christinamarie74

The book is literally called: Stories of Courageous Vulnerability 



https://issuu.com/christinamarie74

Our story exists with 39 other -wide/broad -real life stories on many life topics where the struggle is real and the breakthroughs are incredible and life enhancing. 

TO get a wider world view of what I've been focused on for a few decades now...

There are three choices to learn more about what I align with and the work I've done with others to generate a meaningful life as it relates to Self, Family and Humanity.  Lots of food for thought that anyone can take on or pass on...the goal is to see if it helps anyone else and if it does GREAT! 

https://www.christinamariewhinnery.com/
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and that also means-NO FORCED FATHERHOOD TOO. 
I think of my almost thirty year old son every day. I think of my son Donovan who died as a baby in my arms very often too. I do not think about my abortion healthcare choices as a regret because I did all that personal work a very long time ago.  Then writing my story in 2012 took things to a new level.  I've had both men and women reaching out in privacy sharing the impact of our Family Planning/Abortion health care story on their own lives and it has been deeply touching on so many levels.

This time as I was leaning into my own experience I remembered more details regarding that one committed connection I had agreed to and how it was the man who I was in that connection with who did not want to be forced into fatherhood. Not just once, but twice. The first, was the beginning of the end and the second time was THE END.  Looking back on this time period from so long ago, we were actually engaged by the time the second abortion as healthcare choice was what he wanted and that is what caused me to leave. It's so fascinating how the story changes within the context of a culture that likes to "disappear" someone else's story.  Plus as a mother traveling with a son, I also needed to think more deeply about our family planning above and beyond this man who didn't make the cut.  And this ties into the Texas abortion ban time line. During my second pregnancy with this man, I left and he thought it would be a good idea to "withhold" "ignore" and block all communications between us.

Step 1-Let me know he does not want his own blood. (I am listening to that no, with respect for all parts-that includes the heaviness of having to deal with that always and forever "she trapped me," as if he wasn't also in the room. Men are such insane creatures sometimes. 

Step 2-Letting me know he is still immature (withhold/ignore) and when he finally did show up the shock and dismay combined with the emotional honesty was concise. He was just trying to teach me a lesson (withholding) and he never dreamed I would ever do anything like what "I DID." But you see, thats the thing about it. I only had a very short amount of time to make this choice on my own with no support from the other half of the procreative partnership of sorts. That's just another piece to this absurd Texas Law.  

This was relationship. Living together. Engaged. Bottom line I lost respect for him and low and behold, after I left he met the most amazing woman who had super duper respect for him. They got married and had the most perfect baby boy and it made me happy to see he got the same thing I already had. A healthy son. 

I would imagine when he looks into his son's eyes he sees his own and his heart expands. 

I would imagine having a wife who respects you very deeply and wants to spend her life with you, that makes his life a hell of a lot easier than his life ever would have been with me. 

I would imagine after becoming a father and experiencing that level of love and that level of responsibility and that level of everything, he gets why I lost respect for him.

Sometimes, that is how we learn and that is how we grow and that is how we evolve and sometimes, not so much. I don't know either way.  There is nothing in it for me. No pleasure what so ever - FORCING anyone to be a parent. This bad parenting act the U.S. likes to call "normal" is just so YUCKY!!!!! 

IN closing. 

ABORTION IS HEALTHCARE. FULL STOP.  


The goal here though...... is a lot bigger for women's health and well-being through their right and choice to have a say in their own family planning.

That is my stand

Today I'm excited about some Dr's appointments then tomorrow.... WE MARCH!!!! YAY

Find a SISTER MARCH IN YOUR AREA!!!!  Ours here is mandatory masks and social distancing and holding one another to account for those community safe things. I'm pretty excited about it!  

https://womensmarch.com/

​STAY TUNED 
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Natural Rhythms Women: Reflections on "Promising Young Women"

4/26/2021

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Through the lens of Communication as Art, We are the Artists 

Through the lens of Sisterhood 
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Through the lens of Expanded Consciousness

​Through the lens of Intimacy

IMPORTANT: SPOILER ALERTS AND THIS TOUCHES ON TRAUMA

Before I move into the lenses I would like to offer the following



Through these lenses, if you have seen the movie and or know what it's about: it’s going to appear as if I’m minimizing and skipping over critical parts of the story. 

That’s because I AM.

This isn’t an intent to dismiss the writer or anyone’s trauma or the pain they may be in or the residue feelings anyone may have come up for them. I don’t ever know what will come up for anyone. At the end of this post I’m going to share what came up for me. It will be a story from many moons ago. A story that holds no negative charge. It’s just a story. I wanted to be clear about that too  because for some reason, any time a woman shares a story because she understands stories help other women-there can be this mindset that she’s carrying her own story with all this emotional charge.

It’s like we can’t even talk about the truth of our own lives or our own previous experiences without someone showing up trying to tell us how we feel about this or that and or why we are sharing ourselves. Without psycho analyzing us or getting on our case about being stuck in the past.

But what many of us women know from decades of being in sisterhood circles is that it’s just what we do to help and heal ourselves and help and heal one another.

We also know if we can share our stories with others without shame or without our story making us cry or making us feel bad about ourselves...it allows us to see how far we’ve come. How amazing we are. It allows us to remember we got this or perhaps we can get whatever comes next.

This is why I believe it’s just so important to ask a woman and not tell her what is true for her. You never ever know when a woman is sharing something, a meme or otherwise for someone other than herself.  This movie touches on that as well. 



Anyway,  I wanted to at least make an offering before I go into these lenses in a short concise way..... 

Here is a link to an earlier post about caring safely. Caring about yourself or others as it is a training regarding how to stay out of compassion fatigue. Or from my perspective and the bar I like to hold myself to: How to stay inside compassion satisfaction. 

Caring Safely: Women's Natural Rhythms - Love Affair with Thyself

It’s a post from last May because I have previous experience with adrenal fatigue. Therefore, I understand my own inner sensations as it relates to what drains me.  I like to nip that as quickly as I can. I wish to serve but not at the expense of my own well-being because I’ve already done that. 

That’s what eventually led me most naturally to Āyurveda. My souls exhaustion for caring too much about others at the expense of my own life force. 

Here is a link to the Self & Āyurveda page. 

There are three amazing under 13 minutes Yoga videos for any sensations anyone may be experiencing inside their body/mind at the bottom of the page. 

Self & Ayurveda 101 - Love Affair with Thyself

These caring short yoga videos also connects very well to being able to use The Woman’s Guide To Understanding Your Own Natural Rhythm (or the guide for those who love us) when thoughts feelings or sensations take over inside of us. 

It’s incredible how quickly a person can return to center or restore their body/mind (resilience) just by caring about themselves enough to take less than 13 minutes toward self care. If you know you’re angry, the pitta sequence is for you, if you know you’re lethargic the Kapha sequence is for you. If you know you’re coming out of your skin with anxiety, the Vata sequence is for you. 

I also selected these three yoga videos because of the soothing voices and cues to truly take care and not worry about being able to do these moves the way these women are able to do them. I often end up looking pretty ridiculous, not being able to do everything or anything close to what the women are able to do while laughing at myself. Sometimes the intention and breath alone is enough to change our emotional state at any given time.

Promising Young Woman 

Through the lens of Communication as Art, We are the Artists 

Context: We have one week left within our Happy Writers Camp with Madam Nicole. We've been connecting and enhancing one another's worlds just one week shy of two entire months. Movies begin with someone writing a script. Typically, I'm engaged with any creative work at that level, in the same way I love music and I'm engaged with the lyrics.  I watched this movie Saturday afternoon before the Academy Awards because it is the only movie I saw listed that I had not seen yet. The opening scene is where the story began in such a way, I was fully invested from a "this is capturing my attention," already therefore I am all in. I had just enough time to watch this movie seconds before it was time to go into what I have endearingly called "The writing room."  

I was still feeling the incredible power of this movie through the above lens when our meeting in the writing room began. One might say, I was deeply touched, moved and inspired through many different lenses through this female writers capacity to write so well. 
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Through the lens of Sisterhood 

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This is where the spoiler alert comes in, really it's just a part of the story as it unfolded... there is more than this, depending on the lens in which the viewer is watching through.  The writers who wrote this since it's considered a dark comedy use the word revenge, yet what I witnessed was a very smart woman who was traumatized, blamed herself and needed to do her own research and as far as I could see -for most of the movie, it was more her teaching these "Nice Guys" that it isn't what it means to be a nice guy to take advantage of a woman who was too drunk to even stand.

In addition to that, she said no and she also said other things that indicated very clearly she did not want what was being done to her to be done to her. Even before she decided to stop pretending and show her actual true sober self. 

These words below (a part of the plot)  have a lot of impact through a lot of lenses, yet I'm going to stick with the the lenses that touched me. 



PART OF THE PLOT: 

Cassie Thomas, a 30-year-old medical school dropout, lives with her parents. Years earlier, her best friend, Nina Fisher, was raped by their classmate, Al Monroe. Despite Nina reporting the crime, there were no consequences for Al from the school or legal system, and it's implied she eventually committed suicide. Now Cassie spends her nights feigning drunkenness in clubs and bars, allowing men to take her to their homes, and revealing her sobriety when they attempt to rape her in order to frighten them from doing it again.
At her workplace, a coffee shop, Cassie is asked out by former classmate Ryan Cooper. On their date, he mentions Al is getting married. Upon hearing this, Cassie begins a plan to exact revenge on those she holds responsible for Nina's rape and suicide. She meets Madison McPhee for lunch, another classmate and old friend who did not believe Nina was raped; Cassie gets her drunk and hires a man to take Madison to a hotel room. She subsequently ignores Madison's calls asking what happened after their lunch.
​

Through the lens of Expanded Consciousness


Expanded consciousness would be that space where something opens up for us that wasn't there before. Perhaps we were unconscious about something we were doing yet once that thing is brought into the light and we see ourselves more clearly, that provides us with an opportunity to make new choices. In this way, these scenes with these "nice guys" seem really important. 

One of the reactions you see being played out all throughout the movie was the deep unconscious and the absolute unwillingness to acknowledge this happened. Cassie was brilliant as it relates to her mental capacity- to not put anyone in real danger while also.. making her point very clear.

There is an important scene where she goes back to the dean of the school who embodies that good ole boys wrong attitude.... until Cassie mentioned the dean's daughter.

You see in these moments how true it is, how meaningless a woman's life is unless that woman's life is someone we love.

The depth of the story line, the plot twists and how this story unfolds is very powerful and absolutely necessary.

It shouldn't be "poor guy" as it relates to holding your shape and owning your space and when a woman says no, you are truly one of those nice guys who actually listens.

No matter how drunk she appears to be to you and in fact, especially if she can't even walk. I think it's a little weird to be sexually attracted to someone who can't even walk or put a sentence together but that's just me. If you want to own being the nice guy, being conscious about that and owning it fully by not taking advantage of a woman in that state is an excellent start. 

That shouldn't offend anyone. At least that is how I feel and I wouldn't want anyone teaching my own son otherwise, but you know...that locker room thing....That man code thing...

This is interwoven and can easily bend back to Through The Lens of Sisterhood 

THROUGH THE LENS OF INTIMACY 

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Through the lens of intimacy or "lack-there-of," when the person you fall in love with, or grow in love with or the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with knows the truth of your history, before you have grown into who you are now... that one thing alone can have a serious positive impact on preventing a lot of unnecessary "I can not tell the truth so I will screw, rape, blame, abuse or even kill anyone who tries to tell my truth for me. 

I love this below from OSHO'S BOOK: 
"When two lovers are really open to each other, when they are not afraid of each other and not hiding anything from each other, that is intimacy. When they can say each and everything without any fear that the other will be offended or hurt.… If the lover thinks the other will be offended, then the intimacy is not yet deep enough. Then it is a kind of arrangement, which can be broken by anything. But when two lovers start feeling that there is nothing to hide and everything can be said, and the trust has come to such a depth where even if you don’t say it the other is going to know, then they start becoming one."

Osho, Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other



What many of us old (er) people understand is that everyone has a past, everyone has a story, everyone made mistakes within their childhood or coming of age time of life and sometimes even longer than that. Personally, I believe that's due to a lack of education in how strong and how important hormones are as they usher in, however that's because I created this journal for people and I would like to see it offered in schools about 5th grade when bodies begin to change or perhaps earlier before body's change. I would also like to see multi-generational small mastermind groups where seniors and coming of age people can work within the journal to help each other. Therefore I do have my own agenda. 

Here's what I know to be true for myself at this stage of my life game. A man being able to feel safe with me can not be something that is more important than my own sense of what it means to feel safe in the space between us. There are scenes in this movie that tickle me because there have been times, where a layer of unconsciousness arrives and I find myself being a straight shooter with some men and it seems to me in being that honest, they rise up.

There is this one scene in the movie where when she drops pretending she is drunk and shows her sober self and as the scene continues, she asks the guy "Do you still want to F**K me?" His response was "No thank you ma'am" and she lets him know "Hmm, no one ever does." This is where the comedy is not lost on me. He's all high and not paying any real attention to her in any real way. Not listening to her cues which are actually really clear. "I don't feel well, I need to go home."  There isn't anything more clear than the words "I need to go home." 

These type of scenes allow room for subtlety and nuance to be seen, felt and experienced. If everyone wants connection, better quality sex and to feel the experience of being fully alive... It just makes logical sense to be open to growing into your next best experiences intimacy wise. 

What came up for me after watching this movie: was an experience many moons ago where I went out to a club with a friend who was excited for me to meet her other friends. We all meant a lot to her and sadly, the high quality cool club we selected had a bit of a reputation for men slipping drugs into women's drinks but we wouldn't know that because it wasn't our thing to go there. Someone had slipped something into my drink that I barely touched because dancing was more my thing. Sadly, I blacked out, woke up in the bus we took to the club, woke up again in my friends home. My friend had the wrong attitude as far as I was concerned. She was mad at me for being drugged. She was embarrassed regarding my behavior and she was upset that I humiliated her in front of her other friend whose opinion seemed to matter to her a great deal more than the fact that I was drugged. I recall this vividly because I recall my self-expression and what seemed really off to me. I thanked her for taking me home while also being clear, something is off here. Instead of caring about my well-being or how I was drugged all she seemed to care about was the fact that I made her look bad somehow. I'm like, Okay, thanks for trying to shame me for being drugged by someone." I'm like this shit is weird and twisty. Someone drugs me and then I'm the one who gets shamed about it?" At the same time I understood her desire to invite me and have me connect with the woman who meant so much to her and that she trusted me to be a quality woman whom everyone can have a great time with. That part wasn't lost on me either. I disappointed her because she knew I can be trusted at the club. But the truth was they put me on the bus where I was safe while they continued to have a really good time so I didn't really ruin their evening as much as I didn't get to experience the fun or the joy or create memories with them. I lost out too. We did work that whole thing out but I do remember that. Women remember things and it's really important to realize.... women remember things LOL

My experience of this movie is that it has the power to help people see more clearly, make new choices, perhaps consider what it means to be a "nice guy," and a lot of other expanded consciousness types of things. 

Then the very next day, the female screen play writer won the Academy Award...that was really cool 

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Natural Rhythms Women: Allowing Art to Touch You...

4/11/2021

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​The musings of Easter Weekend Movie choices. 

Movies through the lens of 

Communication is an Art and We are the Artist.... 



As we know…..What touches or moves any person into their own heart space is so very personal. I will share how each movie touched me....personally....

PREFACE: 
The short (less than three minute) video's need to be watched to keep the flow.....flowing....

Movie title: Mary Magdalene 

Synopsis: In the first century, free-spirited Mary Magdalene flees the marriage her family has arranged for her, finding refuge and a sense of purpose in a radical new movement led by Jesus. 
The sole woman among his band of disciples, Mary defies the prejudices of a patriarchal society as she undergoes a profound spiritual awakening and finds herself at the center of an Earth-shaking historical moment. 

Initial release: March 15, 2018 (Germany)
Director: Garth Davis
Nominations: AACTA Award for Best Lead Actress, AACTA Award for Best Costume Design, More
Production companies: See-Saw Films, Porchlight Films, Film4 Productions, FilmNation Entertainment
🔥Screenplay: Philippa Goslett, Helen Edmundson
In this video below, it gives any reader a wider lens on the movie being more in alignment with truth unfolding vs the old story that continues to be misrepresented to this very day
HOW THIS ART TOUCHED ME 
As a young person growing up inside a roman catholic family, hearing the stories in the bible, many of those stories left me with community=very scary and Jesus=safe again. There was something about the way Jesus would show up that caused the unnecessary, scary, often brutal and violent scene to return to making me feel like the world was safe again. It didn't occur to me to put a lot of energy into what someone might have done wrong to warrant an entire community of people thinking they had the right to throw stones at one defenseless woman. That part didn't feel right to me as a young person.

What did feel right and true within myself as a young person (and now too) was who Jesus was.

He seemed rather genius, innovative and creative if you ask me. If nothing else, Jesus is a good idea. Some place later on down the road, I began to disconnect from my roman catholic origin. That's an entirely different post and as far as my parents were concerned a sign of growth and development in cultivating my own inner connection to something bigger than myself.

I never got crucified by my own parents for my own evolution.

Additionally, my father had this theory that paper doesn't reject ink and what he wanted me to learn from that was: anyone can write anything at any time and it doesn't make it true or truth so you really need to use your own brain and your own heart intelligence to move through all the distortions and nonsense that others may want you to believe. 

In this way, I don't really need or like other people coming into my life trying to force me to do that thing they call: "man up,' with that facts only mentality. Also known as level of the mind only.

The over all message is: don't use your emotions and for sure, do not use your own reference as your own guide.

AKA do not trust yourself, your own brain and please detach your heart from your brain like I have been taught to do. 

Truth unfolds all the time, so facts are  often subjective at best and suspect at worst. When it comes to women, our lives, our truths, our world view, no one need to feel entitled to bully us into believing false truths as a way to make us feel like there are only two ways to live as a woman. 

Mary's story in this movie makes complete and utter sense. She is a woman who followed her prayers and concluded via the voice within that it was not her calling to be married. It wasn't even about the man who wanted her to go against her own will. She was clear, conscious and naturally centered while stating this is not my path.  Jesus was her path. 

Through the lens of A Woman's Guide to Understanding YOUR Own Natural Rhythms, we could re-frame Mary being deeply and intimately connected to her own natural rhythms in such a way that she was able to trust her own inner knowing and therefore she ended up where she belonged, as one of Jesus's most trustworthy witnesses. There was no force behind her following Jesus.

He did not force her, he led her by who he was and how he showed up and they both seemed to share this thing called being a healer. So they had that unique connection that the non-wounded healers have with one another.  


The teachings of Jesus are eloquent and simplistic in nature.

​This movie returns and restores the eloquence and simplistic nature of his teachings just as much as it shines a lot of light on Mary, how they connect and why they trust one another. 
I was left feeling renewed, restored and well nourished. 

Movie Title: The Tribes of Palos Verdes

Synopsis: When the Mason family moves to idyllic Palos Verdes, Calif., the father, Phil, loves it but the mother, Sandy, feels out of place among the fake tans and tennis skirts. Phil and Sandy's daughter, Medina, is a loner and outcast at school, while her charismatic brother, Jim, is effortlessly popular. When Medina and Jim take up surfing, they must prove their right to share the waves with the tough Bayboys gang that monopolizes their stretch of beach. 
[Does the brother die in the movie? Just wondering because you mention that later. I think the synopsis needs a few more details.]

Release date: December 1, 2017 (USA)
Directors: Brendan Malloy, Emmett Malloy
Based on: The Tribes of Palos Verdes; by Joy Nicholson
Box office: 11,603 USD
Music composed by: Gustavo Santaolalla
HOW THIS ART TOUCHED ME 
This movie was a mistake for me. I was left deeply sad by it. The Synopsis leaves the heaviness factor/level out of the equation. I think that was done on purpose because I really would not have watched it had I known it would touch on a young person overdosing aka suicide. I wish the parents had listened to their introverted daughter the many times she spoke up and said she was worried about her twin brother. Yet it also caused me to dig a little deeper into whose story this really was, who was the author of this story because it felt so real. 

​I found this incredible interview from 1997 with the author herself, Joy Nicholson

Here is an excerpt from that interview: 

Joy Nicholson's debut novel, The Tribes of Palos Verdes, looks through the eyes of fourteen year-old Medina Mason as her parent's marriage collapses and her mother draws her twin brother Jim into dangerously incestous emotional territory. Fragmentary incidents gather resonance as Nicholson assembles them into a story; one of her most significant strengths as a writer is the faith she has in her material, allowing the scenes to speak for themselves. Many beginning writers tell stories as if they feel they have to hold the reader's hand from one page to the next. Joy Nicholson's prose is clear and honest enough that she can trust you to understand what is happening and why it matters.


RH: How did this novel get started?
JN: A friend of mine was doing a literary zine called One Little Ball and asked me to write a story for it. So I wrote a story about my brother and the place where I grew up. I didn't really think about it too much after that until an agent tracked me down through the 'zine and asked me if I was writing a book.
RH: Had you even thought about writing a book before then?
JN: I knew that I wanted to write, but I never intended to write a book. Or maybe I had a vague intent, but I never really had the confidence to do it. I don't think I ever really thought of myself as a 'writer.'
RH: So what was it like putting together the confidence to do this project, once you knew it was going to be a book?
JN: It wasn't really a decision. I just took it in incremental stages. I didn't go to college, and I didn't know how to write a book, so I just started looking through a lot of books that I liked. I'd cut pages out and paste them together, then hang them from the walls and study them to see how different writers wrote, how they made transitions and all that. Once I got a chapter done, I started thinking about the second chapter...only they weren't even really chapters, they were more like vignettes. When I had about fifty of them, a year later, I turned them in to the agent who called me, and then I told her I wasn't sure how to make them tie together. She told me not to worry, that it would eventually tie together, and to just keep writing those vignettes. Then she cut out about three-fourths of what I'd written.
I was really shocked, because I'd put a lot of work into all that writing, and she still hadn't signed me for her agency yet, either. She told me, "We still have to see if we can work together. It's going to be really hard on you, because you'll keep writing this hard, and I'll keep editing you this strongly." When I finally got it back, what was left seemed so thin and depressing, but I just kept writing more and more vignettes about Palos Verdes and my brother.


​
The BEATRICE Interview: 1997

HOW THIS ART TOUCHED ME A LITTLE MORE-and perhaps "why" it hit me in a deeper way



It might have made me a little more deeply sad because I know a family very intimately, their story is different yet their teenage daughter made a similar decision to end her own life without the overdose part. It's one of the stories inside the book: Stories of Courageous Vulnerability. We have a few Authors who share their stories. One is from a man who decided against it and the other is the story of the 16 year old from her brother's heart space many many years later. 
The story is called "What I Want to Remember About Tomorrow." 

It's on page 69 within the "vivid stories" section in the book 


I know that one story by heart because- it's my former spouses story,
Inn his own words.
I've needed to come back to that at times these past six years post divorce but only when other people try to tell me why my marriage ended based on their own stories, beliefs, and where they were in their own development. Typically I don't need to return to page 69 but when you are single as long as I have been single and the noise gets a little too loud, I don't think there is anything wrong with reading a  Courageous Vulnerable story to remind you-you can indeed trust your own heart and your own knowing. 

When you tell people you want to transform your marriage with love-not hate, there is a lot of suspicious nonsense floating in the air. This is why I believe in minding my own business regarding certain interpersonal dynamics because you never ever know what two people are working out or waiting for or the deeper why. 

It's his heart trying to reconcile his family history and although the story wasn't new for me (his wife) It was a very big deal for this private button up man to write his story, share it and have it be published with the desire to help himself and also help others who may be able to identify with him. 

The only thing that I know about this topic is the pain does not go away, it just gets redistributed and expands throughout the entire family and sometimes for many many years until someone decides to do the deeper humanity work out of necessity or out of hunger to be a better human being. I'm not going to plug in the book at this time, it can be found on my website under "Expanded Humanity" page.

After being left in this state, I wanted to reach for something that would bring me back up to where I was. 

MOVIE TITLE: SAVE THE DATE 

Synopsis: After breaking up with her boyfriend, a bookstore manager (Lizzy Caplan) resists a seemingly perfect guy's (Mark Webber) attempts to woo her.
Release date: December 14, 2012 (USA)
Director: Michael Mohan
Screenplay: Egan Reich
Initial DVD release: April 17, 2013 (Sweden)
Story by: Michael Mohan, Jeffrey Brown
HOW THIS MOVIE TOUCHED ME: 
This movie was lovely, witty, emotionally honest and so endearing.
Elizabeth Anne Caplan’s character is incredibly charming.

I found her lack of confusion, playfulness and insight to be similar to parts of my younger self.  

I love those moments where  vulnerability is moving in action.
From the heart space and the truth of our hearts, vulnerability does not waste anyone's time. 

Questions like "Are you happier without me? because if you tell me you are happier without me I will leave you alone!" 
Leaning in for that potentially serious risk/ heartbreak takes just as much guts as it does to answer that question honestly.  Leaning in, fully engaged, letting your heart lead even though, this is going to sting. Personally, I think that is an important step vs pretending not to care at all.  


That concludes my Easter Weekend Art/Heart being touched experience.

Much of the time Art has the power to move us in many different directions and touch us in places to remind us of our humanity or that we have a collection of life experiences, memories and places within our hearts that have been and continue to be touchable.  And it's cool to see where we are in our own development as a person now, then again now. Then again.....in the now :-)

​Stay tuned...


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